I’ve been noticing something lately.
Every week, I work with dozens of people.
We work on all different things. Building their businesses, growing their confidence, making big decisions, managing change and mastering transformation in their lives.
Regardless of what we’re working on…
Regardless of who they are…
Regardless of the apparent circumstances of their lives…
Almost all of them talk about feeling lonely.
Leah, a stay at home mom who is considering becoming a massage therapist said, “I don’t think there is one person in my house who actually knows me – I mean, knows who I really am.”
Kendra, who was recently promoted to SVP of Operations in her company told me, “There is absolutely no one for me to talk to when I have a problem. At home - I’m the caretaker, at work – I feel like I need to know what I’m doing, like they’re waiting for me to mess up, and my friends have their own problems…”
Liz, a fledgling business owner, literally cried out, “I am entirely alone! There is no one to save me if I fall.”
Stacy regularly tells me that since her husband died she just misses having someone to share simple moments with. “You know,” she says, “someone to eat with, or watch TV with, or just someone who would know if I got home late.”
I’ve been there. And I’ll bet at one point or another, you have too.
Unfortunately, there’s a prevailing “Just suck it up Buttercup” stigma around the topic.
Not a good idea.
Harvard’s 80-year study on adult development reports the most significant factor affecting health and well-being is how satisfied we are in our relationships – whether we’re lonelier than we want to be.
In fact, recent research concludes that loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it a greater health concern than obesity and, potentially shaving 8 years off your life.
In the UK, they’ve recently appointed a Minster of Loneliness to combat what they’re calling an epidemic health crisis.
There is good news too.
You are 100% capable of having exactly the amount of love and connection you choose in your life.
And in September, I hope you’ll join me live for my free on-line program:
Be Seen. Be Understood. Feel Connected.
How to counter loneliness and find ways to connect deeply.
(details coming soon)
In the meantime, let’s start a little ripple of connection and see how far it goes…
Grow Your Connections
Everywhere you go – the supermarket, the train, work, home – look people in theeyes and smile. You’ll be surprised how rare this simple form of connection really is.
Strike up a conversation with a stranger and really listen to the story they tell. Thank them for it.
Reach out to one of your Facebook or Linked in friends and meet them for coffee – in PERSON. (If that’s not possible, set up a virtual coffee over Skype, or zoom.)
Let your hair down a bit. Allow your own playfulness to seep into your relationships and conversations. Believe me. My life got sooo much better when I started letting my inner dork shine through in all her goofy glory.
And most importantly. DON’T BE AFRAID. The opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s fear.