Going in Circles?
Three Questions To Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Lost
You’ve been here before and trust me, you’ll be here again.
Every life has just as many downs as it has ups. And, remember the Brain’s Negativity Bias? (Read here if you don’t) Your brain embeds more of the downs than ups - so when you’re in a down, (even a tiny one), the pattern can feel endless.
The bad news?
It is endless – there truly is no finish line.
Just like the natural rhythm of life has ups and downs, your personal rhythms are naturally linked to your patterns of thinking and acting. This can make life feel like a carousel in hell – the same thoughts, feelings, and outcomes appearing on each rotation.
The good news?
Yours doesn’t have to be a traditional carousel and it certainly doesn’t have to be in hell.
Of course, your pony will continue to go up and down. (I’ll remind you that, in reality, none of us ever chose a pony that didn’t. The ones that went up and down were much more fun than the stationary ones or, god forbid, the creepy benches that faced backward.)
And as you go round, you’re sure to revisit your fears and insecurities over and over again. (You’ll probably make the same mistakes for several rotations as well.)
But here’s where things get exciting:
If you lean in to those fears rather than pull back from them
If you continue to grow, stretch, and reach for a brass ring each time around
If you trust that they are yours, no matter how many times you miss
Then the ride becomes an infinite spiral upward. Each revolution finds you on a bigger, brighter, more magical carousel – riding stallions, cheetahs, elephants and even dragons as you go.
So, the next time you’re feeling lost, stuck, or like you’re just going in circles, know it simply means you’re ready mount your next trusty steed.
Three questions to re-ignite your magic
QUESTION ONE: When Was the Last Time I Felt Joyful?
If you’re feeling lost, chances are you’ve been focusing on the details of the downs rather than the ups.
Trace back to the last time or times you felt excited, accomplished, connected, optimistic, or happy.
What were you doing or planning? Who were you with? Where were you doing it?
QUESTION TWO: How Am I Showing Up?
Close your eyes and envision that joyful version of you.
How does she interact with the world? What kinds of words does she use? What does her body language look like? How often is she smiling? What does her voice sound like? What energy does she give off when she enters a room?
QUESTION THREE: What Would the 100-Year-Old Say?
Tap into the 100-year-old version of you. Filled with wisdom and nearing the end of this life, she has all the hindsight you could ever wish for.
Ask her what you should do next.
She’ll have an immediate answer if you don’t over complicate the question you ask. (If her answer isn’t immediate, make the question smaller and smaller until you have a clear response.)
Then do exactly what she says.