The Naked Truth About Changing Your Life | OWN YOUR SH*T (Part 2 of 3)
Last week, in part one of The Naked Truth, you learned a couple of important things...
1. There are three steps to making whopping, lasting change in your life and those steps are the same for everyone.
Open Your Eyes
Own Your Sh*t
Take Action
2. While the steps are the same, in order for them to work for you, you have to make them your own.
This means experimenting with them so they fit your values, your personality and your lifestyle.
3. Step one, Open Your EYES is about seeing yourself and the world around you in new ways, from new perspectives.
Missed it? Find last week's MM here.
This week we're diving into the hardest part of the process...
2. OWNING YOUR SH*T
Why is it so owning your sh*t so hard? Three reasons:
First, all of the self-blame and self-judgment that you've been engaging in over the years that feels like owning your sh*t, isn't.
In fact, all that gunk is counterproductive. It makes you feel bad, and is just a mask for the actual sh*t that's holding you back.
The actual sh*t starts with beliefs ➥ which lead to thoughts ➥ which lead to feelings ➥ which lead to behaviors and actions.
For example, Lisa believes that she's not the kind of person who gets the "big chances" in life.
When an opportunity comes across her path to apply for her dream job, she thinks that she'll never get it.
This makes her feel resentful, bitter and angry.
When she interviews, that bitterness shows through (behavior) and she doesn't get the job.
This reinforces her belief that big opportunities are never for her and the cycle continues.
A change in belief ("of course I'm worthy of a life I love") changes the thought ("maybe this is my chance") changes the feelings ("scared and excited") which changes behavior (she shows up as eager, bright and excited) which starts to change her outcomes.
You have to own the GOOD sh*t too.
If you think this is the easy part, you're wrong. Of all the deep work I ask my clients to do, this is the part that they resist. And when they do start to admit what's good about them, they keep to the highlight reel and even play those things down.
You don't have to become a braggart. But you do have to admit that good stuff - all of it - to yourself.
Once you own your sh*t, your beliefs begin to shift ➥ your thoughts begin to shift ➥ your feelings begin to shift ➥ and the actions you take begin to create outcomes that break the cycles that are keeping you stuck.
This Week: OWN YOUR SH*T
1. Ditch the self-judgement self-doubt and self-blame.
Use this simple mantra each time one of those nasty stories pops up. "In every moment, I do the best I can with where I am and what I have to offer at the time."
2. Dive in to what you really believe.
Tap into your body, feelings and energy as cues that a belief may be getting in your way. Look for:
Tension in your body
Sadness, resentment, envy, or blame
Circumstances that quickly drain your energy
What's the trigger?
What belief(s) do you hold about the trigger?
Be honest - it's easy to lie to yourself here!
What other belief(s) could you try on that may feel equally true?
3. Dig up the GOOD stuff!
This is important! I'm not talking about a cursory list - aka the highlight reel. I mean open a journal and write! List:
Qualities about yourself you're proud of
Things that others have told you they love about you
Skill that you possess (don't hold back here - everything from "I make good eggs" to "I'm proficient in 16 languages"
Accomplishments (again - no holding back - get gritty)
Physical attributes that you're proud of (DO IT - you have some)
Read this list every day.