11 Pairs of Black Pants

It’s so good to be back – I’ve missed writing to you!

While I truly enjoyed my scaled back summer, there IS something glorious about the “back to school” energy I get in September.

New pens (just the right ones), a year’s supply of 5x7 index cards (it’s my last paper habit, don’t judge me), and a wardrobe update.

Accordingly, this weekend I riffled through my closet and sorted its contents into three piles – UGH, LOVE and STAPLE.

It was shocking.

The UGH pile was enormous – filled with overworn “comfort” items, things I bought out of desperation, and things I thought would look good after a bit more Pilates.

None of this surprised me.  The shock came from the other two piles.

The LOVE pile was empty.

 And my STAPLE items?  11 pair of black pants (and to be honest, an equal number of black sweaters).

 I’d love to blame it on my Zoom-based profession or the pandemic, but I know that had I used this sorting method any other time in my life the result would have been the same.

 Here’s the thing that really stung. 

 I LOVE clothes, consider myself to be rather fashionable and have always held a particular image of how that would all come together someday.  That my outside and inside would be in sync and that I’d feel great.

 I just turned 54. 

 Clearly that isn’t going to happen unless something changes.

 This may sound trite, but I assure you, it’s not.

What I uncovered in my closet is a symptom of how often the old patterns that run under our radar lead to choices that keep us from growing.

 And from getting what we want.

 The worst part?

 WE DON’T NOTICE.

 To be something you’ve never been, my friend, you’ll need to do things you’ve never done.

 And that starts by noticing your current patterns.

 What is it that you still intend to do in this life?