Sh*t! It’s Sent.

This week, I sent a highly personal email that was meant for one of my friends to a brand-new client. (They have the same first name and I must have clicked the wrong contact.)

I did the same thing 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.

My face burned.
My stomach dropped.
I felt a lump in my throat.

 Panic washed over me, and I spent the next HOUR crafting an email explaining my error.

 I felt humiliated.

 This time, I said a few choice words, shot off a humorous three-line note and got on with my day.

 The only notable thing was that I wasn’t stressed at all about it.

 In truth, I’m rarely stressed about anything for more than a few moments anymore.

 This isn’t a brag.

 I’m telling you this because I went from being the biggest worrywart, stress ball, perfectionist, procrastinator, people pleaser, conflict avoider on the planet to super productive and super chill almost all the time.

 All by changing the way I think.

 There’s another reason I’m telling you this.

 Stress in the US is at an all time high and, according to current research, wielding an impact that extends beyond our troubled mental health.

According to the National Institutes of Health, new cases of chronic pain in the US are outnumbering those of diabetes or depression.

A 2021 Yale University study showed that chronic stress speeds up your epigenetic clock, resulting in accelerated aging and diminished life span.

Interestingly (although not surprisingly) both the NIH and the Yale papers zero in on emotional regulation as an antidote. It means you'll need to quiet the voice in your head.

 Here are some of my favorite ways to do that:

1. b r e a t h e  
   When you feel your body constricting or your mind spinning, stop and take a couple of slow, deep breaths.

2. Rest your tongue on the floor of your mouth.
   This sends a message through your vagus nerve to the rest of your body saying ALL IS WELL.

3. Get off the train.
   When we’re stressed out, we tend to let our mind run wild with fears, “shoulds” and projections. Think of these as runaway trains. When you notice that you’re on one, hop off by changing the story, distracting yourself, or using the somatic exercises above.

We GenX-ers were inadvertently (and sometimes explicitly) taught that stress and productivity went hand in hand...that the more successful you were the more stressed you were.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

We are all happier, healthier AND more productive when we’re less stressed.